Two More Days!

Well folks, I have two more days until the magical moment when I will be able to express my love to the most wonderful man I have ever met in the presence of friends and family.

Not everyone could make it in for the wedding but I know they're with me in thoughts and prayers. I am very excited and a bit nervous at the same time. To be expected I suppose. I hope things go well as planned and I don't trip over my dress or flounder over my words due to nerves or spill anything on my beautiful dress.

Words cannot express the excitement and overwhelming joy I feel when I think about the moment when I am standing next to him and get to look into his loving eyes, knowing all the while that this is what marriage and love is supposed to feel like.

For that moment, will be the best day of my life.

What? No Sex?!!?

Last night on the way home, PC and I went to Chilli's to eat before sundown to observe Yom Kippur. Lord, did we eat. I about rolled out of there and I was amazed that he ate as much as he did and some of my food too. I felt like a cow or more like a fat bear who had packed it on for the winter. We went home and were supposed to do all these chores around the house on this list I made. Yeah, right. Like we had the energy to do any of these things. At least I didn't. He knocked a few things off the list but I felt fat and lazy.

Then I found out that you can't drink coffee. How am I going to survive? I am addicted to coffee and can't function without it. It was so difficult, no terrible, no unbearable not to have coffee this morning. I feel like a slug right now and can't stop yawning.

Then I find out (the hard way) that you can't have sex too. What the hell is up with that? What is there left to do all day? No food, no drink, no coffee, no wine, no cookies before bed. Did I mention no coffee? That one hurts the most. I'm hangin in there but can barely keep my eyes focused on the computer monitor.

Just One More Reason I'm Pro Choice

I had an appointment to get my hair done after work last night. I just had it colored on 9/16 but apparently no one told me that the back of my hair was two different colors and part of the color did not take. I came to find this out when I was getting ready for my hot adult only date this past Friday night and grabbed the hand mirror to check out both my ass and my hair in the mirror. I was mortified that my hair was two different colors and I called PC in the bathroom to show him and he said the same thing my boss said when I confronted her for not telling me. I thought you wanted it that way and didn't say anything. God God people!!! Of course I didn't want my hair looking like shit right before my wedding and for wedding pictures. Thank God I was being vain for a change and trying to check out to see whether my butt looked good in jeans or I would have had crappy hair for my wedding. Needless to say, I told them both from now on to tell me when my hair looks bad. I give them permission to make me feel bad, for the greater good. Moving on to my story.

I get to the appointment and my hairdresser and I are talking and she is fixing my hair and putting the color on it to even it all out, etc. And this guy walks into the salon with his young son, maybe 5 years old, to get hair cuts. I can't see the man because of the station partition so I asked Jill if he was the guy that works there in the first seat because he sounded just like him and I can't see the guy. She asked why and I told her that he had the same voice. Now the guy who I am referring to is extremely gay and talks as such. If you get my drift. So a minute goes by and he walks back with his son with another hairdresser. Ding Ding Ding.....he's gay. I mouth to Jill, he's gay. She said no he's married. I was like, so he's gay. Perhaps they have an arranged marriage. She tells me that she has tried to cut his son's hair before and could not finish because he was so bad. Just then the guy starts asking her if she had ever cut his hair and proceeds to talk about how misbehaved his son is or was to the other lady. They are all being nice and pretend not to remember but they all do. So I am sitting there talking to Jill about stuff and this guys starts listening in on my conversation and takes bits and pieces of what I am saying and starts talking to the other girl about it. I was a bit annoyed and talked a bit lower. Then it was time for this dad to get his hair cut and this meant that the kid was going to run wild. And that he did. Oh my God, did he. I think that little monster touched everything in that shop, screamed, ran around, bounced off chairs and counters and nearly knocked over a glass shelf with products on it. The dad said nothing. Nothing I tell ya. Then after the dad gets his hair cut, he asked to be shampooed. This is afterwards. The kid still shrilling and acting out. Not a word to him. I was shocked. It was unbelievable. So I am right next to the guy getting my hair rinsed while he is getting his after haircut shampoo and the kid is running, grabbing water, etc. and screaming. I just said "oh my God" and the guy looked over at me sitting next to him and didn't say a damn word still to the kid.

They left the shop, not fast enough mind you. And I just could not help myself. It was as if I was taken over by some force and blurted out "That's why I am pro choice." All the people in the salon laughed and we bitched and commented on this guy and his awful kid for the next 15 minutes. It was a hoot. That kid wouldn't have lasted 5 minutes in my house. In fact, nor would his gay dad.

Another Political Joke

I usually don't forward or post jokes but I thought it was cute -

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, 'What is Politics?'
Dad says, 'Well son, let me try to explain it this way:
I am the head of the family , so call me The President.
Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government.
We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People.
The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class.
And your baby brother, we will call him the Future.
Now think about that and see if it makes sense.'

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.
Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him.
He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper.
So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother asleep.
Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny.
He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy says to his father, 'Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now.'
The father says, 'Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.'
The little boy replies,'The President is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep.The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit.

I need another ME

This is how I feel right about now.

I have been so busy trying to do all, be all and know all that I feel like I did nothing, am nothing and know nothing.

Of course PC would say the opposite. He's good like that. There is so much to do and we are running out of time. He told me that my new phrase should be f#@k it. I wish I could say that about some of the unpacking around the house but I have been trying to get the house looking half way decent before we have guests over.

Then there is the wedding stuff that I can't put off either. PC is very helpful and has been but there is only so much time in a day.

The Debate & Other Nonesense

Let me start off by saying that I'm not big on politics and don't claim to know a whole hell of allot about it. I leave that up to Joe or PC, as I call him. I'm sure Joe will blog about last night's debate with much more depth and knowledge than I am about to do. But I did feel compelled to make a few comments this morning after watching last night's debate. I'm not alone when I say - I hate her voice. I can say that because I am originally from Michigan. I used to talk very much like that and when I moved to Florida, I found out rather quickly that my tone and voice was annoying and the kid's made fun of me for it. Luckily I was smart enough not to take on the Southern drawl and twang either and settled somewhere in the middle. Not to twangy, not too ditsy. Just right. I was torn between wanting to watch the debate and wanting the pain in my head to go away, but I suffered through it for the greater good. Alcohol helps too.

Aside from her choice in suits and shoes and the fact that she kept her composure throughout the debate, I see nothing more I like about her. People can go back and forth on who "won" the debate and who "lost" but it all boils down to which pair of candidates are better for the American people. I don't care who is a Maverick, wasn't that a piece of shit car made by Ford? A friend of mine used to have one of those cars and it always broke down. I digress. The presidency is surely not riding on the winner or loser of last night's debate but it gives us an insight as to the knowledge and preparedness of the runner up, or lack thereof.

Did she answer any question last night that the moderator asked of her? She didn't even stay on task herself when she said she wanted to "speak directly to the American people" first and answer the question asked of her. Not only did she not say what she initially intended on saying but she never answered the question to begin with. I think the only definitive answer we got was through Biden about gay rights. And I think she painted herself in a corner on that one.

It's easy to not get flustered and remain calm and composed when you're not "checked" by anyone and are allowed to continue to avoid answering the questions, change the subject to suit your needs, wink and flirt with both your husband as well as the moderator and give a shout out to an elementary school. Heck, I'd be composed too. I hated these types of girls in school. No one said a word to them about anything and they got away with everything because they were cute, perky and let the boys grope them behind closed doors. So she gets points for manipulating. Not a big feat. Women have been doing this for years. Give me something more, something with substance.

She scares me. She really does. And to think that she wants "more" power for the vice president is a scary thought as well. Dare I say.............I miss Hillary. Now that would have been a good match up.

In closing, I did go to bed feeling better with the knowledge that she loves Israel. As I laid my head on the pillow feeling all warm and fuzzy inside, I was gently humming the song from the old Coke commercial:

Reminder

Reminder to Sarah Barracuda:

Jesus was a community organizer.

Pontius Pilate was a governor.

You claim to follow one, yet you're behaving like the other.

Eggasperated Neighbors

The neighbors to the back of our house and to the side of our house have both been egged over the last few days. Our house sits in the middle somewhat and we have been spared. But the neighbor behind us, Shelly, her house has been egged repeatedly. No sooner does she attempt to clean up the first mess and take a shower, she gets egged again while in the shower. Needless to say, she is not a happy camper and has resorted to going door to door to ask what kind of eggs people have in the refrigerator. Apparently, the egger uses predominately brown eggs. They must come from money, because those eggs are expensive nowadays.

I found out from my daughter yesterday that she came to our house while PC and I were not home and asked us what kind of eggs I have. I have to admit that I was a bit offended. But my daughter immediately told her that "my mom doesn't buy brown eggs, they're too expensive and my mom's cheap". Then Shelly asks them if there has been any talk at the bus stop or on the buses about kids thrown eggs. My daughter says no and then my son chimes in "Come to think of it, there's this oriental kid that rides my bus that never talks and never looks you in the eye. And there's this Mexican kid that rides my bus that looks pretty guilty." My son always seems to have a conspiracy theory going on. Shelly just laughed and continued on her quest for the allusive brown egg.

I was relieved that my step son was not home at the time because being the smart ass that he is, would have answered "we had some earlier in the week but they're gone now" with a big smile on his face.

So last night we were all gathered across the street for one of the neighbor kid's birthday party and Shelly walks up and I had to ask her why she questioned us about the eggs. She explained that she went to every one's house and asked them all and came up empty. Then she proceeds to tell us that she has been camping out downstairs in the dark at night, dressed all in black, armed with a video camera trying to catch the perpetrator. And she was being serious. She has it all worked out. She tells us that she is going to catch the little monster on video, chase him down (because she can run pretty fast) and tackle him and call the police. It sounded like a plan to me.

Then I got to thinking. If I knew her better, I would surely pull a prank on her. But we are not tight like that and I think she would probably kick my ass first and ask questions later.