Another Political Joke

I usually don't forward or post jokes but I thought it was cute -

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, 'What is Politics?'
Dad says, 'Well son, let me try to explain it this way:
I am the head of the family , so call me The President.
Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government.
We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People.
The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class.
And your baby brother, we will call him the Future.
Now think about that and see if it makes sense.'

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.
Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him.
He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper.
So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother asleep.
Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny.
He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy says to his father, 'Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now.'
The father says, 'Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.'
The little boy replies,'The President is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep.The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit.

I need another ME

This is how I feel right about now.

I have been so busy trying to do all, be all and know all that I feel like I did nothing, am nothing and know nothing.

Of course PC would say the opposite. He's good like that. There is so much to do and we are running out of time. He told me that my new phrase should be f#@k it. I wish I could say that about some of the unpacking around the house but I have been trying to get the house looking half way decent before we have guests over.

Then there is the wedding stuff that I can't put off either. PC is very helpful and has been but there is only so much time in a day.

The Debate & Other Nonesense

Let me start off by saying that I'm not big on politics and don't claim to know a whole hell of allot about it. I leave that up to Joe or PC, as I call him. I'm sure Joe will blog about last night's debate with much more depth and knowledge than I am about to do. But I did feel compelled to make a few comments this morning after watching last night's debate. I'm not alone when I say - I hate her voice. I can say that because I am originally from Michigan. I used to talk very much like that and when I moved to Florida, I found out rather quickly that my tone and voice was annoying and the kid's made fun of me for it. Luckily I was smart enough not to take on the Southern drawl and twang either and settled somewhere in the middle. Not to twangy, not too ditsy. Just right. I was torn between wanting to watch the debate and wanting the pain in my head to go away, but I suffered through it for the greater good. Alcohol helps too.

Aside from her choice in suits and shoes and the fact that she kept her composure throughout the debate, I see nothing more I like about her. People can go back and forth on who "won" the debate and who "lost" but it all boils down to which pair of candidates are better for the American people. I don't care who is a Maverick, wasn't that a piece of shit car made by Ford? A friend of mine used to have one of those cars and it always broke down. I digress. The presidency is surely not riding on the winner or loser of last night's debate but it gives us an insight as to the knowledge and preparedness of the runner up, or lack thereof.

Did she answer any question last night that the moderator asked of her? She didn't even stay on task herself when she said she wanted to "speak directly to the American people" first and answer the question asked of her. Not only did she not say what she initially intended on saying but she never answered the question to begin with. I think the only definitive answer we got was through Biden about gay rights. And I think she painted herself in a corner on that one.

It's easy to not get flustered and remain calm and composed when you're not "checked" by anyone and are allowed to continue to avoid answering the questions, change the subject to suit your needs, wink and flirt with both your husband as well as the moderator and give a shout out to an elementary school. Heck, I'd be composed too. I hated these types of girls in school. No one said a word to them about anything and they got away with everything because they were cute, perky and let the boys grope them behind closed doors. So she gets points for manipulating. Not a big feat. Women have been doing this for years. Give me something more, something with substance.

She scares me. She really does. And to think that she wants "more" power for the vice president is a scary thought as well. Dare I say.............I miss Hillary. Now that would have been a good match up.

In closing, I did go to bed feeling better with the knowledge that she loves Israel. As I laid my head on the pillow feeling all warm and fuzzy inside, I was gently humming the song from the old Coke commercial:

Reminder

Reminder to Sarah Barracuda:

Jesus was a community organizer.

Pontius Pilate was a governor.

You claim to follow one, yet you're behaving like the other.

Eggasperated Neighbors

The neighbors to the back of our house and to the side of our house have both been egged over the last few days. Our house sits in the middle somewhat and we have been spared. But the neighbor behind us, Shelly, her house has been egged repeatedly. No sooner does she attempt to clean up the first mess and take a shower, she gets egged again while in the shower. Needless to say, she is not a happy camper and has resorted to going door to door to ask what kind of eggs people have in the refrigerator. Apparently, the egger uses predominately brown eggs. They must come from money, because those eggs are expensive nowadays.

I found out from my daughter yesterday that she came to our house while PC and I were not home and asked us what kind of eggs I have. I have to admit that I was a bit offended. But my daughter immediately told her that "my mom doesn't buy brown eggs, they're too expensive and my mom's cheap". Then Shelly asks them if there has been any talk at the bus stop or on the buses about kids thrown eggs. My daughter says no and then my son chimes in "Come to think of it, there's this oriental kid that rides my bus that never talks and never looks you in the eye. And there's this Mexican kid that rides my bus that looks pretty guilty." My son always seems to have a conspiracy theory going on. Shelly just laughed and continued on her quest for the allusive brown egg.

I was relieved that my step son was not home at the time because being the smart ass that he is, would have answered "we had some earlier in the week but they're gone now" with a big smile on his face.

So last night we were all gathered across the street for one of the neighbor kid's birthday party and Shelly walks up and I had to ask her why she questioned us about the eggs. She explained that she went to every one's house and asked them all and came up empty. Then she proceeds to tell us that she has been camping out downstairs in the dark at night, dressed all in black, armed with a video camera trying to catch the perpetrator. And she was being serious. She has it all worked out. She tells us that she is going to catch the little monster on video, chase him down (because she can run pretty fast) and tackle him and call the police. It sounded like a plan to me.

Then I got to thinking. If I knew her better, I would surely pull a prank on her. But we are not tight like that and I think she would probably kick my ass first and ask questions later.